“I Don’t Know What To Do With Myself”

Chapter One: The Portal

Planetary Counsel had refused Jor-El permission to take his family off-world through the portal to Earth. His theories about instability at the planet’s core had become known, so they felt that any off-world trips might trigger a panic in the general population. Jor-El knew his activities would be monitored so he began exploring options for getting his family away from Krypton should the worst happen. One experiment involved a new portal that would use limited amounts of energy that wouldn’t trigger Brainiac to notify authorities. This portal would operate on different principles that wouldn’t emit the kinds of signs that the Counsel would think to monitor. He planned to still have the portal open in the El family’s cave in Smallville, Kansas on planet Earth.

When Jor-El first succeeded in opening a small portal, he realized he must test to make sure that the portal would be safe for living creatures to move through it. Better to test it now than after months of work to enlarge the portal sufficiently for his family to be able to get through it. He dashed out of the lab to locate Krypto. The family dog was quite intelligent and understood complex commands. He was also fiercely loyal to his family. Jor-El would hate sending him through, but his options were limited and he didn’t know ultimately how much time was left before Krypton’s end days. He found Krypto sunning himself in the yard and had a brief talk with him about the trip he was to make, but upon returning to the lab he found that the portal had closed. It shouldn’t have tripped shut unless it had used more than the energy limit he imposed on it. Without actually transporting anything, the portal should have remained stable and open for days without meeting the energy limit. As he pondered what had gone wrong, Lara entered the lab and asked Jor-El if he had seen Kal crawling around anywhere.

Chapter Two: Gilbert N. Sullivan and the Haunted Cave

Chloe was nervous about being alone in the cave. Lionel had “asked” for her to meet him there. Without Lex to protect her, she was nervous about the upcoming meeting, but she was getting so creeped out alone in the cave that she would almost welcome Lionel’s presence. Alone, her imagination started playing tricks on her. She thought about the Native Americans who had lived near here for awhile. Perhaps a tribal chief haunted this place grieving over a lost Indian Princess. She tried to stop scaring herself with her wild thoughts, but she was hearing slight noises, feeling strange drafts and seeing flickers of light that shouldn’t have been there. Then there was a wail that made her feel like she had jumped out of her skin. She looked for the exit and checked quickly to see if she had soiled herself as she headed for the mouth of the cave. Then she slowed and got a grip on herself and thought about the possibility of a story. Nervously she turned and crept back. She had never interviewed a ghost before. What would she ask? She followed the sound of the wails and sobs and came to a blank wall. Dead end. Then she heard a sniffle and pointed her flashlight down only to see an infant boy sitting against the wall. For Chloe, this was far more shocking than finding a ghost. Who in their right mind would leave a baby alone down in these caves? She was angry but her feelings turned to concern for the child. She reached for him and he reached up for her. She spoke softly to him and he mumbled in some childish language of his own. As she held him up against her, he felt the boy softly kiss her on the cheek. “Is that my reward for rescuing you? Maybe you’ll be there for me some day if I need a helping hand. Who knows?” She buried her head in his neck and gave him a big smooch. She headed towards the cave entrance hoping to find the boy’s parents outside so she could give them a piece of her mind. As she started coming out into the light she looked at him and said, “You look just like Clark! … Or do I just see Clark everywhere I look?” As she walked out of the cave with the infant in her arms, she was watching the child point at the yellow sun and almost bumped right into Lionel.

Lionel said, “Ms. Sullivan. Leaving so soon? I believe we have an appointment.”

Chloe responded, “I didn’t think you were going to show. And my friend here may be in need of a diaper change soon so I couldn’t wait too long.”

Lionel asked, “Why, may I ask did you bring him? Think he will be an adequate shield?”

Chloe stammered, “Oh, no Mr. Luthor, I couldn’t get out of my commitment to take care of him and couldn’t find anyone to watch him on short notice. He’s my cousin’s boy, Gilbert.”

“Gilbert N. Sullivan? “ Lionel quipped sarcastically, “Mr. Sullivan, I have so enjoyed your music!”

Chloe chuckled, “You got my little joke, huh. Actually, he is named … Louis … Louis Lane … Little Lou.”

Lionel looked the boy over and said, “May I hold him Ms. Sullivan. It’s been a while since I’ve had a son that age. … I won’t bite him.” When Chloe hesitated, Lionel added, “You don’t need to consider it a request.” Chloe reluctantly turned the little boy over to Lionel. Lionel held him high in the air. The child fidgeted nervously. “Afraid of heights are we? Lex was too at your age!” chuckled Lionel. Chloe and the child reached for each other but Lionel dropped the boy back into his arms. Lionel offered his hand to the little boy and the boy grabbed Lionel’s index finger playfully. “Let’s see how strong this boy is,” said Lionel as he moved his finger back and forth. The child looked into Lionel’s eyes then back at the finger and flexed it … the wrong way. A loud snap was followed by a piercing scream. Chloe deftly caught the flying child when Lionel hurled him away. Lionel’s aids ran to him – each with a hand on a suspicious bulge in their suit. They escorted Lionel back to his limousine as, without turning to face her, he stammered, “Another time Ms. Sullivan, another time.”

As the limo pulled away, Chloe planted another kiss on the child’s cheek. “Mrs. Kent will know what we should do about you young man.”

Chapter Three: Louis and Clark.

Chloe came rolling into the Kent farm, got out of her car and raced to the passenger door. Jonathan saw her and told her that Clark was upstairs. Chloe said she was here for Mrs. Kent. As she fetched “Little Lou” out of the car, Jon called for Martha. Seeing the baby he wiped his hands on his overalls and came for a closer look. He was all smiles and baby talk, telling Chloe what a cute baby this was. Chloe read Jon’s body language and Lou didn’t seem to mind so Chloe handed Lou over to Jon with a warning, “Just don’t offer him one of your fingers to play with!”

Jon began bouncing the giggling boy on his hip. When Martha came out onto the porch, she greeted Chloe and then saw the baby in Jon’s arm. The always fair skinned Martha got noticeably paler. She looked faint so Jon rushed over to her. “Jon, don’t you know who that is?” stammered Martha.

Jon answered, “I believe his name is “Lou.” Right, Chloe?”

Martha looked like she was going to cry. Jon was confused. Chloe said, “I called the baby Lou but I don’t know his real name. I came here because I need some expert baby advice. I was nervous about taking a baby home to Dad and I don’t want to give Lou to the Sheriff.” Chloe quietly added, “Mrs. Kent, if this is too soon after … for you to have a baby around, I understand. I should have thought about that. I’m sorry I ….”

“Oh NO, Chloe,” protested Martha as she took the baby from Jon and hugged it harder than a normal baby could stand. Just then, Clark came bounding out the door with a wide smile.

“Hiya Chloe, who’s the little one?” Hearing Clark’s voice, the baby’s head snapped towards around to look at him. A broad, almost toothless grin lit up the baby’s face. The baby’s arms shot out towards Clark and it shouted out something that 3 of the 4 others there thought was baby talk. Clark’s smile disappeared and he staggered a bit.

Chloe said, “Wow, Clark! Lou really likes you! I didn’t know you had this effect on children.” The baby started fussing with a strength that Martha couldn’t control. Clark moved back and the baby struggled more. Chloe jumped in but she had to shout to Clark to help out. Finally, Clark reached for the baby and it practically flew into his arms. Clark shifted the now delighted baby awkwardly in his arms. A tear came to Chloe’s eye and she moaned softly, “Oh, how cute!”

Clark softly said, “Somebody help me. I don’t know what to do with … myself … a … with ….”

“Lou!” added Chloe. Martha asked Chloe if she could join her in the house so they could look for some suitable baby supplies … or at least make a list of things to get in town.

When they had gone, Jon scratched his head and walked up to Clark saying, “Son, I am certainly at a loss for what is going on here.”

Clark looked at his Dad as if he were having a senior moment. He said, “Dad, look at this baby. Does it look like anyone to you?”

Jon looked puzzled, “He’s a cute kid but babies look a lot alike.” Clark held Lou up so their were faces were side by side and mimicked the smile the baby had on its face. After a couple seconds, Jon’s jaw dropped, “Oh MY! How could I have not seen it?” Jon looked back and forth between the two faces. Clark nodded that his Dad had finally gotten it. “Son! I can’t believe that you have spent the last several months chasing shamelessly around after Lana when you and Chloe have had a baby together!”

Now Clark’s jaw dropped. “NO. No, no, NO. Dad, this is ME! When he saw me he called me “Daddy” … in KRYPTONESE. He thinks I’m Jor-El.”

Jon just stood there blinking. He tried to say something a few times. Finally he was able to say, “Son, if this is some kind of cover story, you know you can tell me the truth. We can get through this.”

Clark shook his head “No” and said, “Dad, I’m starting to remember a little bit of this. This is me. This is my first visit to Earth, to the farm. This is how we met.”

After breathing for a while, Jon said, “I’d better tell your mother. She’s probably thinking exactly what I was thinking.”

Before they could say anything else, Martha came back outside and said, “What are you two talking about? Bring little Clark inside. I got some of his stuff from the attic.”

Jon, looking disgusted, turned to the Clarks and said, “Am I the only clueless one around here?”

Clark said soberly, “Well, we’d better hope Chloe is too.”

Chapter Four: Chloe Dearest [Skip to Alternate Chapter Four for shower scene version]

Clark sat in an armchair lost in his thoughts. As long as “Lou” could look over and see Clark, he was happy. The child sometimes looked around for someone he expected to be there and pouted a bit, but Chloe was able to distract him easily. She sat on the floor for hours with him and played games with a ball Martha had found in a chest in the attic. Occasionally, she looked at the phone and bit her lip and had a guilty expression on her face, but then she snapped back to her games with Lou – making funny faces and noises for him. Clark just sat there as if in a trance. Chloe had asked Martha to keep the TV on and tuned to a news channel so that she could listen for an Amber Alert kept an ear. Chloe listened as she played with Lou in case there was a report about a missing boy, but in her heart, she wanted her time with Lou to last much longer.

Jon whispered to Martha, “How will we keep her from calling the authorities?”

Martha whispered back, “Jon, she’s probably wondering the same thing about us.”

Chloe was becoming very much in tune with Lou. When he seemed a little unsteady and his eyes seemed a little heavy, she bundled him in a red blanket took him to a big rocking chair and told him “wall of weird” stories until his eyes got heavy and he fell into a deep sleep. Chloe rocked Lou while Clark watched them with vacant eyes. Martha went over to Chloe and whispered something in her ear. Chloe visibly brightened and a tear came to her eye. She nodded and whispered something back to Martha who went out to Chloe’s car. Martha returned with some disposable cameras that Chloe keeps to take photos when she is out on a story. Martha took several shots of Chloe and the sleeping baby. Chloe mouthed “thank you” to Martha and blew her a little kiss. Soon Chloe picked Lou up and walked over to Martha to ask if she could spend the night. Martha told her which bedroom to use. Chloe asked if Martha would call her Dad, tell him that she was staying and make up some excuse for her. Martha smiled and nodded. Chloe took Lou up to the bedroom Martha said she could use and crawled into bed with little Lou. Soon both were sleeping nestled close together.

Jon came to sit with his son to see how he was dealing with what was going on. Clark said, “I’m so confused. I have no idea what to do. How could a younger version of myself have gotten to Smallville … and what possible purpose Jor-El would have for sending me to Earth TWICE! But something does make sense to me now. I’ve always liked being with Chloe and I think she is beautiful, but for some reason, I pulled back from making a romantic connection with her. I wonder if look at Chloe and think of her more as a … mother figure rather than a girlfriend. Oh man! This is so mixed up! I can’t believe this.”

Jon said, “Well, I’m more worried about how we explain it to Chloe when Lou goes back.”

Clark had a startled look on his face, “How could he go back? It’s not like we have a spaceship lying around to send him back … well, not like we have one … anymore. Why can’t we have NORMAL problems? It’s hard for me to even realize how bizarre my life is! I think Lou is here to stay. I’ll just have a “mini-me” following me around for the rest of my life.”

John responded, “Son, he HAS to go back, or you can’t be here -- and it has to happen before you leave Krypton in that spaceship.”

Clark disagreed, “Dad, haven’t we seen enough to know that that we don’t know anything? Things that can’t possibly happen only happen 3 times a day around here. For all we know, Lou will take my place and I will begin to fade away. Wouldn’t that be better anyway? However Lou came, there were no meteors this time. My spaceship gave the meteors a way here. If Lou stays, I just get here a little later and no one gets hurt.”

Jon answered, “There’s a lot I’m not certain about, but I know we can’t undo the past. That’s why we have to live responsibly. Furthermore, I wouldn’t change it if I could. There must be a reason for things happening the way they do. Think of all the lives you have saved by being here. What would they have done if you we’re here to save them?”

Clark shook his head and said, “Think about it Dad, I saved people from Meteor Freaks. Without Meteor Freaks, nobody needed saving. Without the meteors, there would have been no Meteor Freaks. And without me, there would have been no meteors. Everyone would have been better off. Lana’s parents would be alive. And Chloe would find me in the cave and bring me here today.”

Jon shook his head wearily, “Son, you’re tired, I’m tired. There’s no point in this debate. What’s done is done and what is … is. “What-ifs” may be an interesting diversion, but this is REALITY Clark, not some story dreamed up by a couple of teenagers for a pulp magazine. Let’s sleep on it and see how it looks in the morning.”

Clark stood up and said, “I guess you’re right, Dad … this time.”

Jon smiled and answered, “That’s nice to hear occasionally. Now level with me, are you sure that’s not my grandson upstairs?”

“DAD!” Clark said in disbelief.

*** ALTERNATE Chapter Four: Chloe Dearest ***

Jon whispered to Martha, “How will we keep her from calling the authorities?”

Martha whispered back, “Jon, she’s probably wondering the same thing about us.”

Chloe said, “Mrs. Kent, I hate to ask this, but I feel like I really could use a quick shower. I think Lou could have used a bath too, but he’s asleep and if I gave him a bath now he might be up all night. The last think I want to do is get him aroused before I get in bed with him.”

Martha kept her mind on track and answered, “Clark wasn’t much older than Lou when we got him. A bath at bedtime would rouse Clark for a while but he would be all the sleepier afterwards. I’ll bet that Lou is a lot like Clark was.”

Chloe looked like she was so exhausted that she could cry. She said, “I shouldn’t have even asked. I’m so drained that I don’t think I could stay awake long enough to shower and give Lou a bath. And I don’t know if Lou would get upset if I left him alone long enough to shower.”

Martha said, “Well, if you are steady on your feet, the time saving method is to just jump into the shower with Lou and getting everything done at once.”

Chloe asked, “Is that proper? I’m not his mother or anything.”

Martha said, “Dear, it’s just a normal and efficient way to handle the situation. I did it all the time with Clark in the early days.” Martha fished some baby shampoo out of some supplies she had gotten in town earlier that day. She told Chloe where she could find some towels, a dressing gown and some sleepwear. Chloe thanked her and took Lou upstairs.

Jon said, “Well, I’m more worried about how we explain it to Chloe when Lou goes back.”

John responded, “Son, he HAS to go back, or you can’t be here -- and it has to happen before you leave Krypton in that spaceship.”

Clark stood up and said, “I guess you’re right, Dad … this time.”

Jon smiled and answered, “That’s nice to hear occasionally. Now level with me, are you sure that’s not my grandson upstairs?”

“DAD!” Clark said in disbelief.

Clark went to the guest bedroom to check on Chloe but she wasn’t there, so he headed off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Then something curious happened, his hearing seemed to lock on to what was going on in the other room and he couldn’t force himself to block it out. He heard things he wasn’t prepared for. He heard a baby babbling and Chloe saying, “My, I would swear you have 10 hands instead of two. Just settle down. I know what you want but you can’t have it from me. I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t. I’ll get you a nice warm bottle when we’re done here. You’ll like that.” Suddenly, Clark started seeing flashes of images from buried memories. He remembered being in that shower with Chloe. He saw her wet soapy body in front of him. Then the image shifted to that of a young red-headed woman who looked a lot like …. Clark dashed down the stairs and opened the front door.

Jonathan looked at the distress on Clark’s face and asked, “Where are you going this time of night?”

Clark blurted out, “Jogging!” and vanished from sight.

Jon was puzzled by Clark’s answer. He had never known Clark to jog before. That evening the weather service monitored a circular wind pattern around Smallville for a couple hours. The wind speeds increased enough to cause concern about the possible formation of a funnel cloud, but fortunately for Smallville, that pattern dissipated shortly before dawn.

Chapter Five: Runaway?

In the morning, Clark came down to the kitchen and found Chloe bottle feeding the baby. He noticed that Chloe’s eyes were red and puffy. She couldn’t hide that she had been crying but she wiped her eyes when she saw Clark taking a seat. Clark pointed towards the front of the house and said, “You might be a little more comfortable in the living room.”

“No way,” answered Chloe, “Junior here has bitten through 5 nipples already. Believe me, that makes quite a mess. Gives a girl reason to rethink EVER breast feeding a child too! Junior seems to be getting the hang of it now, but I don’t want to take a chance getting milk on your carpets. By the way, I started a new carton of milk. The other one is out of date and I’m not taking ANY chances with Junior’s health.”

Clark asked, “What’s with the “Junior” business? I thought he was “Lou.” “

Chloe shook her head, “I realized “Lou” sounded too much like “Lu-thor” so I can’t call him that anymore. By the way, Lex’s Dad may be gunning for Junior, so keep that in mind.”

Clark prodded, “Yeah, he’s always had it in for me.”

Chloe said, “For you?

Clark hesitated and then said, “Too! He’s always had it in for me too. So why Junior?”

Chloe looked Clark in the eyes and said, “It’s short for … Clark, Jr. He looks so much like you. And I wanted him to have your name when … well. I wanted him to have your name.”

Clark got a determined look and said, “Spill it, Chloe. What’s up with the tears and the “Junior?” Level with me.”

Chloe looked down at Junior but continued talking to Clark, “I need your help, Clark. You’ve got experience. I need you to be my teacher. The class is “Runaway 101.” How can I get lost in a big city? How do I set myself up in a nice little place without having to answer a lot of questions?”

Clark looked at her for a second then said, “Lesson ONE. It’s the lesson I learned last but it’s the one that is the most important. Listen closely because you WILL be tested on this! You can NOT run away from your problems. If anything, you can best do battle with your problems by standing your ground where you are surrounded and supported by your friends and family. What problem do you have that you think you need to run from? I am here to stand with you and I can stand fast. Talk to me!”

Chloe whimpered, “If I stay, they’ll take Junior away. I know they will. I couldn’t … I couldn’t let that happen.”

Clark said slowly, “This baby came from somewhere and he WILL have to go home. You know it would be wrong for you to run away with him. He has to go back.”

A fire came into Chloe’s voice as she answered, “I can’t let him go back to people that would leave him in a cave to die. I can’t, Clark. No. No no no no NO!”

Clark said in a steady and calm voice, “Does Junior LOOK like an abused child to you?”

Chloe shot back, “Not all of us wear our scars on the outside Clark!”

Clark continued, “It was an accident Chloe. Junior was not purposely left in the cave. His parents want him back. Someone will be coming for him.”

Startled, Chloe stood up with Junior and looked around, “Was there an Amber Alert while I was asleep? OH NO! YOU called the Sheriff! Damn You! I didn’t ask you to come with me. I wouldn’t ask, but, but …. I wouldn’t have gotten you in trouble, Clark.”

Clark put a hand on Chloe’s shoulder to calm her, “NOBODY called Sheriff Adams, Chloe.”

Chloe pulled away and asked, “Then how could you know someone is coming for Junior?”

Clark mumbled, “How do I know about anything?”

Chloe picked up on that, “Yes Clark, how DO you know anything? Tell me. Please do. Enlighten me. Another psychic episode Mr. Man of Mystery? You are so frustrating Clark, I swear!”

Clark took Chloe’s hand and said softly, “Don’t go. Please.”

Chloe started to cry again, “I can’t lose him too Clark. I feel connected to him. I Love him. I don’t think I could stand to be alone again!”

Clark pulled her into an embrace that sandwiched Junior between them and he whispered to her, “Chloe, you’re not alone. You’re not. …. And Junior. Junior has a mother. I can’t tell you how I know but I know. He and I are connected as well. Couldn’t you see it? Couldn’t you sense it? And Junior HAS a mother. He NEEDS you to be his friend -- his very special friend. And you are special to him. You were the one that found him in the dark and took him back into the light. He needs you to be strong now.”

Chloe looked up at Clark and said, “Am I wrong to want more? Don’t I deserve more?”

Clark answered, “Chloe, you deserve everything.” Chloe smiled and kissed Clark on the cheek. They remained in an embrace while Junior played with Chloe’s hair. After a while, Clark said, “Not to spoil the moment, but there is something else Junior needs from you.”

Chloe snickered and said, “And what might that be Clark Senior?”

“A clean diaper!” winced Clark.

“Oh no!” said Chloe, “That’s just a little gas. This little one is trained. I told you he was special.”

Chapter Six: El Hound

Jonathan had just stepped out of the barn when he felt a breeze. He saw a white mist move past him, around Chloe’s car and back at him again. The mist disappeared and in its place was a medium-sized, short-haired white dog. The dog sniffed at him then backed up. “Hello Fella,” said Jon. The dog started a low growl and bared its teeth at Jon. Somehow Jon sensed that his was one canine that was not to be messed with. He started walking sideways towards the house and then turned to make a run for it. There was an identical dog in front of him. He glanced over and the other dog had gone. He had seen Clark use this trick before – moving so fast that he seemed to vanish and re-appear someplace else. There was no way he could outrun this dog. Jon turned his head and in a voice meant to be heard … but to not startle the dog, he shouted, “Clark! … CLAAAARK!” Clark quickly appeared at the side porch. The dog’s attention shifted. He seemed to vanish and reappear at Clark’s feet. The dog sniffed at Clark and then raised a paw and stroked Clark’s leg. Clark kneeled down and in a blur of motion, the dog soaked Clark’s face with a tongue lashing. Clark fell onto his butt on the porch and covered his face from the onslaught.

Laughing, he called out to his Father, “Is this what you called me for -- to show me this cute dog? I thought you were in trouble.”

Jonathan didn’t answer he just looked down at himself wondering if he had any clean underwear in the house. Meanwhile the dog slipped past Clark, deftly opened the door and ran into the house. Chloe screamed at the top of her lungs. Clarks hopped up and was in the house in a flash. The dog was all over the baby and Chloe was hysterical. “THAT PIT BULL IS MAULING JUNIOR! YOU’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING!”

Clark grabbed the sides of Chloe’s head with his palms and pointed her head to look at Junior. he said, “Chloe, calm down! Look Again!” Chloe blinked a few times and breathed heavily. She heard Junior laughing uncontrollably as dog and baby grabbed at each other and played.

Chloe wiped her eyes and gave Clark a sharp jab with her elbow, then yelled, “Ouch! Well, I don’t like this at all. You were stupid to let that … that thing in here with the baby. You had no idea what it would do!” That said, she marched off into the kitchen to regain her composure, rubbing her elbow and pouting as she went.

Jon appeared at the door and watched as the dog and baby played. Soon the dog bowed its head and with a quick movement of its paw pushed a chain and pendant from its neck. He (the dog) carefully lifted the chain with his mouth and placed it over the baby’s head. The dog stepped back and sat down looking much like the dog watching the Victrola in the RCA logo [that’s for us old geezers]. Jon and Clark noted the distinctive diamond shape of the pendant and the stylized “8” mark upon it. Chloe returned to watch from the kitchen door. She saw the pendant begin to glow and asked, “Where did Junior get that?”

Nobody answered because they were suddenly too busy listening to a voice in a strange language coming from the pendant. The dog answered the voice both through vocalizations and telepathic thought transmission carried back to Jor-El through the pendant. [For the sake of the readers, I will translate the conversation to “American English” from “Kryptonese Human” and “Kryptonese Dog.” The translations will appear in brackets.]

Jor-El: “[High praises good friend Krypto! You have found baby Kal. His signs show he is vital and happy.]”

Krypto: “Yip! [Yes, he is well.]”

Kal-El: “[Pa-pa-pa-pa pa-pa.]”

Jor-El: “[Is he near the portal opening?]”

Krypto: “Yip-yip. Errrrrrrr-yip. [No. He has traveled some distance.]”

Jor-El: “[How could he have gotten that far? Even with the speed he is capable of, he wouldn’t have ventured very far in so short a time.]”

Krypto: “Rorrr-epp! [Don’t ask me. I’m the messenger dog, remember. You’re the portal scientist!]”

Jor-El: “[I’ll let that one pass this time because I am so relieved my son is well. Thank Rao! Can you get Kal back to the cave?]”

Krypto: “Mmmmmmmmmm. [I think they would try to stop me. One who is here may be able to prevent it. They watch over him with an eye to protect him and they don’t know my intentions.]”

Jor-El: “[You’re not alone then?]”

Krypto: “Arf! [What did I just tell you? Am I just barking to myself here? Come on!]”

Jor-El: “[Sometimes! If you hadn’t been a friend of my grandfather I would …. Nevermind. Are the others dressed in the same style clothing – uniforms? Do they appear to be members of a government authority?]”

Krypto: “Yip-yip-yipper-errr. [They wear clothes like those at a circus I attended once. Ha! They are colorful and amusing. I scared one of them pretty good. His clothing is soiled. But you are here as well standing by your son, yet you are not here. It is a better you who has much of the child in him.]”

Jor-El: “[Krypto -- always the philosopher! We can talk of such things later, I must talk with those who watch Kal now and get them to agree to return him to me.] Greetings! Is there someone present that I can talk with about this child?”

Jon answered, “This is Jonathan Kent.”

Jor-El asked, “ Hiram’s son? I send greetings to your Father! He knew me as “Joe” when I visited your city in … 1961. Merciful Lord, I am grateful that my son has been in your care in the hour since he has been parted from us.”

Jon said, “This child has been with us for a day.”

Jor-El asked, “A day? 22 hours?”

Jon said, “Something like that.”

Jor-El said, “There must be some sort of time shift in the portal through which he reached you.”

Jon asked, “Portal?”

Jor-El said, “I know this is an odd situation but there is only so much I can explain. He must return to the cave. Do you know about the cave?”

Jon answered, “Yes.”

Jor-El said, “Since there is a time element involved, it is important that Kal is returned while the current portal is open. Kal accidentally went through the first portal. I sent Krypto through a second portal – they are too small for an adult to fit through or I would have come for the child myself. I have a portal opened now to communicate through.”

Jon said, “We’ll have him there within the hour.”

Chloe began to cry.

Jor-El said, “I am trying to find a way to re-locate my family to … Kansas. The portal may not prove to be the way. I am tempted to leave Kal with you for his protection from environmental hazards present here, but he is not ready to live there yet. He needs to be conditioned. He is very strong and must learn how to live among you without harming you. But mainly, his Mother and I can barely stand him being so far from us. This is a lot to ask of you I know, but if I should find that only Kal can be saved, could I send him back to you through the portal or by some other means? Could I count on you to protect him and guide him in ways suited to life … in Kansas?”

Jon answered, “It would be an honor and a privilege, Joe.”

They could hear Jor-El sigh in relief. Then he said, “Thank you. I can think clearer now knowing that Kal can be saved and have a home with you. Let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that. My wife and I may be calling on you someday soon -- in person, to further express our gratitude. Take the pendant from Kal before sending him so I can contact you in the future – in case I have to send Kal back alone. Krypto can lead you to the portal. Please hurry.”

Clark pulled Jon aside and asked him in a whisper so Chloe couldn’t hear, “Aren’t you going to tell Jor-El that I am here?”

Jon shook his head, “No, Son, I can’t do anything that would alter the decisions he is going to make. I have no idea what would happen if he finds out how things have turned out.”

Clark sniffed, “Dad … I think the baby has gas again. Whew!”

Jon pulled away from his son and said, “That reminds me, I’d better go up and change before we leave. See that everybody is ready to go.”

Commercial Break: Family Photos [Ca-Ching!]

There was a knock at the kitchen door, Chloe swung around to see her father sticking his head in the door. “D-d-dad? What are you doing here?”

Mr. Sullivan said, “Honey, Martha called and said that I might want to stop over. She told me how you had rescued a little baby boy and gotten kind of attached to him. She said you were going to be taking him back to his parents right away. She guessed right that I like to get to know the men in my little girl’s life … so I came over for a short visit with the little fella. Where is he?”

Chloe went and snatched up Kal. Krypto jumped up in alarm.

Clark said, “Krypto, these are my good friends, no one here would do anything to harm Kal in any way. Lay back down so you don’t worry Mr. Sullivan!” Krypto acted like he understood every word (he did) and he obeyed Clark without question (because he felt like it). He just went back and continued what he was doing before Mr. Sullivan showed up -- leafing through one of Martha’s Home and Garden Magazines while waiting for everyone to leave for the cave. He was anxious to experience a truck ride with his head out the window – something not allowed in Kryptonian vehicles, especially the higher altitude ones.

Chloe carried Kal to her father who said, “Cute little guy!” But when he got a closer look at him he shot a glance at Clark and back at the boy and his daughter. He looked back at Clark again with kind of a nasty look on his face. He considered for a moment whether his daughter’s fashion had tended towards a baggy grunge look at any time in the last couple years and then resumed his smile when he realized it hadn’t. Still, he made a mental note to keep an eye on Clark in the future.

Chloe handed Kal to her Father and told him, “Just don’t let him play with your finger if you plan on keeping it.” Mr. Sullivan put his hand on the doorknob and Krypto looked up from his magazine. Chloe asked, “Where do you think you are going?”

Mr. Sullivan answered, “Pete’s waiting outside with some disposable KODAK DIGITAL PLUS cameras so we’ll have something to remember Kal by.”

Chloe asked, “Why didn’t Pete come in?”

Mr. Sullivan answered, “The way I understand it, his boss Al only allows him time to see you guys about 6 minutes every 2 weeks so he is saving up for a half hour. Don’t quite understand what he’s talking about, but as long as he’s willing to take the pictures, I’m not asking any questions. By the way honey, next time you have a problem, you can bring it home to me. You know that right? If I could handle explaining your monthly visitor to you, I can handle anything. I miss you when you’re not home, you know?”

Chloe gave her Dad a peck on the cheek and said, “Yes, Dad, I know.”

Mr. Sullivan stuck his face to her ear and whispered, “Love you.”

Chloe grinned and said, “I love you too, Dad.”

Mr. Sullivan shouted, “Come on everybody. I want pictures of all you handsome folk. I even want a picture of that good looking dog over there, so everybody, get outside. Time is a wasting and theirs film to burn.”

Chapter Seven: “No Use Crying”

Martha held her son Kal and let him play with Clark’s ball. She was trying to soak up all the time she could. This was her only chance to know Clark as he was before she first laid eyes on him and had those maternal feelings set in motion – just like they were set in motion for Chloe just the day before. Martha knew that she had been the lucky one. She kept what she had found – Chloe couldn’t. As much as she wanted to hold on, she was mindful of Chloe and letting her have as much of Kal’s time and attention as was possible in these last few minutes.

After waving goodbye to her Dad and Pete, Chloe turned to Jonathan and asked, “Who is this “Joe?” ”

Jon answered, “He is someone my Father befriended years ago. He visited Smallville for a while. My Father offered his help and a degree of trust when Joe needed it.”

Chloe probed further, “Is he a decent man?”

Jon thought for a second and said, “I certainly hope so Chloe. I know what you are feeling right now. I would rather raise little Kal myself than to trust this “Joe” to be the kind of father I want Kal to have, but the bottom line is that Kal is Joe’s son. I believe he loves Kal and has done nothing to justify our keeping Kal away from him.”

Chloe was thinking about what Jon had said then turned to Clark and shouted, “Hey Kal!”

Clark turned and said, “What Chloe?”

For the moment, Chloe found her reporter side showing through, “You called yourself “Kal” when you lived in Metropolis, didn’t you? Curiouser and curiouser.”

Clark, getting better at the game he was living shot back, “Not that curious. Grandpa Kent was torn between naming Dad either Jonathan or Calvin. Joe discussed this with Grandpa and Joe said that he really liked the name Calvin and might use it when he had a son. Dad had thought about naming me Calvin out of respect for Grandpa but Mom won and gave me her maiden name as my first name. I’ve heard that story for years.”

Chloe thought about it, “So Joe must be a kind of old to be having a small child like Kal.”

Clark answered, “I don’t know Chloe. From the sound of it, Joe isn’t exactly from Kansas. People may live to be quite old where he’s from and may wait until they are older to have their children.”

Chloe asked, “So you think Joe is from Utah? Well, I bet his wife is some young thing.”

Clark shrugged, “We’d better get going. I guess you guys better load up. I’ll be right out.” Clark went in the kitchen door.

Curious about what Clark wanted from the house, Jon followed from a distance. As he near the side door, Jon heard Clark cry out from the kitchen, “AArghh! Ohh! Ohhh, Ahh!” He heard something hit the floor as Clark moaned. He bounded up the porch stairs and into the kitchen. “What is it Clark? Kryptonite?“ Jon shouted.

Clark turned to face his dad as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, “No. The MILK! The milk went bad! YUCK! Echk!” In a blur of speed, Clark mopped and rinsed the floor. He picked up the fallen milk carton, looked at it and then looked at his Father with a tear in his eye.

Jon, surprised by the sad look on his son’s face, said, “Son, I know this has been an emotional couple days for you and I hate to use an old cliché, but there is no use in crying over spilled milk – especially old, spoiled, spilled milk. We have cows full of it out there.”

Clark said, “It’s not the milk.” He held up the carton so his Dad could see it better. There was the picture of a small boy on the carton. Clark continued, “I hope this little boy is as lucky as I was. I hope he is found by someone like Chloe or Mom or you. I sit at the breakfast table every day and in front of me is a carton of milk with a picture on it. Every single day! Yet all it was to me was ink on waxy, disposable, cardboard. I’m going to open my eyes right now and keep them open. I have been helped when I was helpless. Now it’s time for me to pay back what I have been given – with interest!” Clark pitched the carton and headed for the truck. Krypto followed with his tail wagging.

Chapter Eight: "Getting the Ball Rolling."

Chloe insisted on being the one to carry Kal back into the cave, Kal seemed a little nervous going back but he was surrounded by his new friends, his somehow different father and his good friend and playmate Krypto. He was also comforted by the spongy feel of the ball in his hands. Chloe was still looking around nervously as if she still might make a mad dash for it with the baby she knew as Gilbert, Louis, Junior and Kal. Krypto stopped near a small area of light on a wall of the cave and gave out a small bark. The pendant now hanging from Clark's neck began to glow. Jor-El began speaking through the pendant. A slight echo of his words could be heard coming though the portal. "Thank you for being true to your word and bringing my Son back to me. Please, put him by the opening so he can come home."

Chloe edged forward and placed a puzzled Kal by the opening in the rock wall. He raised his arms immediately to signal Chloe to pick him back up, but a beautiful sing songy female voice started calling for Kal from the opposite side of the portal. Hearing the voice, Clark staggered backwards and gripped the wall so hard that the rock wall fractured. Little Kal's face lit up with delight as the voice continued to coax Kal in a strange and foreign language. Chloe felt almost hypnotized by the beauty of it, but there was an edge of tension to the voice as well. Kal crawled towards the opening and then stopped and pushed himself back to a seated position. He wanted his mother, but he didn't want to go through that opening. He remembered crawling through the last time and having the lights go out – leaving him alone and frightened in the dark. It was a bad experience that he didn't want to repeat. He was scared. The baby listened to his Mother's voice calling to him, singing to him, pleading with him with a tinge of panic growing as she spoke. He wanted his Mother so badly and he knew what she wanted him to do, but he had to be bad. He didn't want to be bad but he couldn't go through that hole. He looked towards Chloe for an answer to his dilemma and saw her sad expression. His face contorted and he let out a wail that echoed and re-echoed throughout the cave and through the rooms of his home on Krypton. The sound or his own cry coming back at him again and again made the whole situation worse. Kal sobbed uncontrollably. His whole body trembled. His nose ran and tears flowed. Clark stood frozen against the cave was as if he were a bas relief sculpture. Jon stepped forward and tried to budge Kal forward. Tiny fingers pushed into solid rock as Kal cried all the harder. Jon tried to lift the child, but he may as well have tried to lift his house. Krypto came over and licked the boys face clean and then got behind and pushed Kal's back with his head. A pudgy little arm swung out faster than the human eye could follow and sent the dog scampering to a safe distance. Martha came forward and used all her experience with Clark to calm and comfort him. It helped some, but any attempt to move Kal any further toward the opening only got Kal started all over again.

Finally Chloe turned to Clark and shouted at him, "Do SOMETHING!" Clark stood frozen. Chloe raised her hand in a threatening motion at Clark and noticed the ball in her hand. In frustration, she threw the ball hard and bounced it off Clark's forehead. Suddenly there was silence in the cave. Kal had stopped crying and was looking at Clark with a blank stare like he wondered what he had missed. Chloe turned and found the ball where it had fallen. She had an idea. She went and sat next to Kal and looked at the ball in her one hand. She kept her eye on the ball as she moved it around a bit. With the other hand, she gently rubbed Kal's back. He breathed heavy and let out a few sobs that he had left over, but he kept his tear-filled eyes focused on the ball. Chloe forced her best smile and had more and more fun with the ball. A small hand reached for the ball and almost got it. She turned to Kal, made funny faces at him and mercilessly teased him with the ball. His nearly toothless grin came back by degrees and his hand started making fast and furious moves to get the ball. Chloe could barely keep it from him. When she knew she couldn't prevent him from getting it any longer, she watched Kal reach out a final time then sent the ball rolling through the portal. Kal rolled into a crawl and rapidly disappeared through the portal. Chloe gasped, covered her mouth to choke back a scream, jumped up, ran to Clark and grabbed him like a drowning woman would grab hold of a life preserver. She was trying to stop, but now the cave was filled with the sound of her sobbing. Clark came somewhat out of his trance and wrapped his arms around her. He began to stroke her hair. As Chloe's cries quieted, the sound of another woman softly crying could be heard through the pendant hanging from Clark's neck.

Soon Jor-El's voice could be heard from the portal. He was calling Krypto. Krypto advanced on the opening, sniffed at it and then casually strolled over to sit at Clark's feet. Jor-El's voice came over the pendant asking why Krypto wasn't returning. Jon answered, "He seems to like it here ... and I don't think I have what it takes to force him to do anything."

Clark shouted, "Krypto, go home!" Krypto whined and fidgeted but stayed put.

Jor-El's voice from both portal and pendant said, "Well, Krypto has his own mind and is free to choose his path. I hope he won't present any problems for you. He understands most languages he may encounter there, but "understand" and "obey" are two very different things. I take comfort that he will be there to greet us when we find our way to your door. Thank you isn't adequate but thank you just the same. Let me take your hand in friendship as is your custom Jonathan Kent." An arm reached out through the portal in the rock. Clark waited for Jon to move forward but Jon motioned for Clark to approach the portal. Clark unwrapped himself from Chloe's embrace, went to the portal, knelt down and clasped Jor-El's hand. A second, female hand reached through the portal and gripped the top of Clark's hand. He heard "Thank you" spoken softly first in Kryptonian and then in English in a woman's voice. Clark looked back at Jon and Martha and mouthed the words, "I love you." After a few moments, they all released their grips, the two hands from the other side disappeared through the portal. The light disappeared. The portal was gone. Clark remained kneeling for a long time. Martha, Jon and Chloe gathered around Clark and draped themselves over him. They sat there for a while lost in their own thoughts.

Chapter Nine: "After Math"

The algebra teacher spoke as he handed back the homework papers he had graded. "I'm sure you noticed that I threw in some advanced problems on this -assignment just to give you all an opportunity to stretch your limits a bit. There is no shame in not solving these problems. It took centuries for the problem solving techniques necessary to come up with the correct answers to be developed by history’s greatest minds. We take for granted that these techniques have been given to us. It is a gift that our earliest ancestors could not have purchased for any price. I thought for a moment that all of you, including our resident math genius here – Mr. Kent, had failed in this undertaking. But Mr. Kent crossed out his initial calculations and wrote in the correct solution and arrived at it by the correct process. Simply amazing -- very impressive indeed! But one piece of advice Mr. Kent: watch your penmanship. By the time you got the calculations right, I don't know if you had had too much caffeine or what, but your writing was extremely sloppy. And although I find the pen colors you chose to correct your work quite daring, it leads me to suggest that you have your vision checked to rule out color blindness. Class dismissed.

Clark looked over the calculations the teacher was talking about. That wasn't his writing at all. Now his classmates would resent him more than normal and the teacher would expect more of him … or suspect him of getting help. He DID get help -- but without his knowledge or consent. Under his breath, Clark swore, "Dang, my dog did my homework!"

A shadow crossed Clark's desk. Before he could get up, Chloe sat down next to him. "Clark, I need to talk to you. I want to apologize. First, I'm sorry for falling apart this weekend. I didn't know Kal long enough for me to react like that. It wasn't rational. I behaved stupidly. No! Keep your mouth shut. Don't say a word. I'm not finished. That ball. I was with your Mom when she found it in the attic. She told me how much you loved that ball. I wasn't even thinking when I rolled it through that port hole. That ball might have meant something to you and I threw it away without even asking you. God knows where it is now."

Clark shook his head. "Oh, Chloe, Chloe. Where do I start? You play this part of a self-confident, self--assured woman and you are in actuality perhaps the only person that doesn't know just how special you are. You WERE thinking. Nobody could do a thing. Nobody had a clue what to do and you just stepped up and handled it all. You are my hero, Chloe. And, yes, that ball was special to me. One of my first memories is of seeing that ball in a toy store. I HAD to have it. It reminded me of the place I came from -- of a toy I had there. Mom bought it for me. It's part of what made Smallville feel like home to me."

Chloe hung her head and mumbled, "I am so sorry, Clark."

Clark continued, "No, Chloe, you don't understand. You giving that ball to me ... to Kal was like bringing my life full circle. He loved that ball when he was here and he loves what the ball means to him where he is at now. That ball got him back where he belonged. And it was your hand that got that ball rolling. That ball binds me and Kal together ... and binds both of us to you ... forever. Because there is no power in this world or any other that can come between us and our friendship. That ball holds a special place in my heart and that is a far better place than being locked in some musty chest in my attic."

Chloe stared at Clark. After a while, she shook her head a little and said, "Boy Clark, you are a real sap. Don't try any prose like that in anything you write for me or it will hit the circular file faster than your dog can swallow a fillet mignon. I have got to go. Deadlines." Chloe stood and ran out of the classroom. She didn't stop until she was far enough away from the classroom's door to wipe her eyes without being seen by Clark. Then she took a deep breath, put her mind somewhere distant and dashed off to find her next adventure.

Epilog: "Dorm Room Chatter"

In Clark’s dorm room at Metropolis University, a pedant in a locked box in the bottom drawer of the dresser glowed and came to life. A voice called out to the empty room, "Jonathan Kent! Jonathan Kent, this is Joe. Can you hear me? Please Jon, I've been trying to reach you for a month! I haven't been able to create a stable portal any bigger than the one Kal passed through 16 months ago. Kal is a little large to fit through the portal now and I don't dare send him through without knowing you will be there to receive him. I have a small vehicle that I can send him in. There will be no room for my wife and myself. I have recorded an education program for him on a flat octagonal disk. Use it sparingly. The program is behaving in a somewhat distorted way but there isn't any time left to fix it. I pray that somehow you have received this message and will be watching the sky for his return. Take care of my boy, Jon. I can tell you have Hiram's heart. Teach Kal the things I couldn't. Thank you, Jon. Thank you."

The End

*** Public Service Announcement ***

Tom: “Hello, I’m Tom Welling, incredibly handsome star of the smash TV Series “Smallville.” Tonight’s episode “Mini-Me” --- the author’s original tile was WAY too long, … “Mini-Me” touched on an important issue that I would like to discuss with you tonight. Hundreds if not thousands go missing every year never to be heard from again. One minute, they are like a member of your family, but suddenly, mysteriously they vanish forever – their voices silenced, their faces forgotten. I am here tonight talking to you on behalf of GAFCA – Gone AND Forgotten Celebrities of America. One minute, they are smiling at you from a TV screen or a movie screen and the next minute, they are in a “Where Are They Now” segment on VH1 or on an “E! Hollywood Somewhat True Story.” Do we truly care where they went? NO. But they spent their time pretending to love their fans, so we should at least PRETEND to care now that they are gone. I have a very personal reason for being involved with GAFCA. My dearest, closest friend in the entire world has gone missing. Have you seen this man! [Tom holds up milk carton with Sam Jones III photo on it.] Missing since the very first episode of Smallville was filmed, my best friend, Tom Jones is gone without a trace. People say that it’s not unusual for someone to disappear at any time, but it hurts me … deeply. After long hours filming scenes and hanging out on the set together between takes, John Third would often come home and share supper with me and my wife. Now that he is gone, I have decided to name my first child “Bob” after him – whether the child is a boy or a girl. I loved the man that much!”

Voice From Off Camera: “Tom! Tom! Over here. It’s me!”

Tom [Continuing]: “So, if you or anyone you know has a clue to the whereabouts of my good friend Bill, call our GAFCA hotline. It’s a toll call and we only have one phone line and only during the evenings, but try to call often. Someone might be there to answer.”

Voice From Off Camera: “Tom! It’s me, Sam! Sam Jones the Third!”

Tom [Continuing]: “I for one will never forget how Jim brought the roll of Paul Roth to life. Tim was remarkable and irreplaceable – but next season Erica Parker Durance will try her hardest to make me forget my pain in a series of heated make-out scenes … HAH! … like that kind of one on one could make me forget that game me and Mike used to play – Baseball! I remember after a scene where Todd and I played our hearts out and after the director shouted, “Cut! Tom you were FABULOUS!” … I remember looking up at Sonny’s freckled face; reaching up to muss that shoulder-length, bright red hair of his; and saying “Keep taking those acting lessons Steve and someday you might be half as good as I am.” Not a chance of that happening … but being nurturing is one of my best qualities. … SO, please remember, the face on the milk carton is more than ink printed on a waxy cardboard – it represents a living, breathing yet forgotten individual that we USED to know and love. Thank you and good night.”

Sam: “Tom! Tom! It’s me Tom. It’s Sam Jones III!”

Tom: “No, I’m not Sam. I’m Tom Welling. You should see a doctor about that memory problem kid.”

Sam: “No, I’M SAM! SAM JONES the THIRD! I’m NOT missing. I never left! I bring you your coffee and donuts everyday. Remember? Pete was just gone for 2 episodes right? He’s back from Wichita in the season opener, right? COME ON MAN! P-L-E-A-S-E!”

Tom: “No need to beg, Dave. I would love to give you my autograph but I’m in a hurry … and upset over my missing Buddy, Paul. Sign on E*Bay. For 30 or 40 dollars you should be able to get an autographed picture signed for me by a kid that hangs out around here.”

Pete: “That’s ME, Tom! I sign your photos for you!”

Tom said, “Great, give yourself one! But first, bring my Jag around from for me. And remember, wipe your shoes off before getting into it. Thanks, Rick. You’re a real Pal.”

This message was paid for by the Gone AND Forgotten Celebrities of America – a non-profit organization.

And remember, this message was paid for by the Gone AND Forgotten Celebrities of America – a non-profit organization. Wait. Didn't I just say that Timmy?

“The True Origin Story”

Many people have asked me in the days since I wrote “I Don’t Know What To Do With Myself” just what had compelled Kal-El to crawl through the portal in Jor-El’s lab in the first place. I hesitate to tell the story because people who grew up with the version of story that the public has been told don’t want to hear the truth. They can’t HANDLE the truth. But, I’m convinced that the select few that come here CAN indeed handle the truth and so “the truth is in here.” It has been said that simply eating modern, healthy food from a super-market gave this individual his powers. To believe such things is like believing that Lana Lang needs to wear a D cup – it is udder non-sense. He came through the portal like Kal and Krypto did. Like Krypto, he stayed. When he saw his opportunity to leave Jor-El’s lab, he took it. It was his chance to leave the rat race and do something meaningful with his life. Baby Kal saw his departure and followed him.

Even before Clark donned a costume and became known to the world as Superman, this small being from another world was out there, putting his life on the line for others. Now you know his true story. Hold it in your heart and keep it dear because traditionalists will still swear it was super-market food (even though we know what kind of stuff that food processors are allowed to package and super-markets are allowed to sell). Next time you see him in the sky or hear his theme song, be proud that you know the rest of the story!

Mr. trouble never hangs around,

When he hears this Mighty sound,

“Here I come to save the day!”
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!

Yes sir, when there is a wrong to right,

Mighty Mouse will join the fight!

On the sea or on the land,

He's got the situation well in hand!

Here's some Mighty Mouse history I looked up. There is no mention over the creators being sued by the people who owned the rights to Superman.

MIGHTY MOUSE
Original Medium: Theatrical cartoons
Produced by: Terrytoons
First Appeared: 1942
Creator: Isadore Klein
It was story man Izzy Klein who originally had the idea of an insignificant animal with Superman-like powers, and he proposed "Super Fly" at a Terrytoons story conference early in 1942. But studio boss Paul Terry, who is said to have liked ideas best when he could take credit for them himself, nixed that one. Shortly thereafter, Terry came up with the same thing, except with a mouse instead of a fly, and "Super Mouse" was born. His first appearance was in The Mouse of Tomorrow, released Oct. 16 of that year. Before it even hit theaters, the second, Frankenstein's Cat, was in production, for release on November 27. By that time, the character was already being used to promote non-series Terrytoons releases, appearing with Gandy Goose on the poster for Ickle Meets Pickle.

Even before the Terrytoons character's initial release, however, another character named Supermouse was in the works. October, 1942 was also the cover date of the first issue of Coo Coo Comics, published by Nedor Publishing Co., but in the usual manner of comic books, it's likely to have gone on sale a couple of months earlier. That comic contained a completely different hero, one that Nedor and its successors, Standard Comics and Pines Comics, continued to publish regularly until 1958. Seeing no reason to promote another company's product, in 1943, Terry changed the name of his character to Mighty Mouse, the name by which he is known today. The 1942 and '43 releases were altered in rerelease to reflect the change.

Mighty Mouse went on to become the studio's most valuable property. In part, this was due to a decision to team him with an earlier Terrytoons character, Oil Can Harry, the villain in a brief and unjustly forgotten series of "Mellerdramas" the studio did in the late 1930s. What made these stand out was that they were done in opera style, with dialog sung rather than spoken. Mighty Mouse replaced the earlier hero, Strongheart, in Harry's revival, and Harry was re-designed as a cat. The first opera-style Mighty Mouse cartoon was Mighty Mouse & the Pirates, released January 12, 1945. Aside from Harry, Mighty Mouse's only ongoing supporting characters were Pearl Pureheart (no relation to Sweet Polly Purebread, Underdog's girlfriend), who played the female lead in these latter-day Mellerdramas, and Mitzi, Mighty's rescue object before Pearl and Harry came on the scene.

It was also in 1945 that he joined the cast of Terrytoons Comics, which at the time was published by the company that would eventually become Marvel. He remained a mainstay of that series through two changes of title and four changes of publisher, until it ended at Gold Key in 1963. He first appeared in his own comic in 1946, and was published steadily all through the 1950s and part of the '60s. The most recent Mighty Mouse comic book series, also from Marvel, appeared in 1990-91.

A third 1945 milestone for Mighty Mouse was his first and only Oscar nomination. Gypsy Life, directed by Connie Rasinski, was the third of four Terrytoons to achieve that distinction. (The first two, All Out for "V" (1942, directed by Mannie Davis) and My Boy Johnny (1944, directed by Eddie Donnelly) contained no continuing characters.)

In 1955, Paul Terry sold his studio to CBS, and Gene Deitch, late of UPA (the studio that was famous for Gerald McBoing-Boing and Mr. Magoo), was brought in to head it. Deitch scrapped Mighty Mouse along with Dinky Duck, The Terry Bears, and all the other old series, and started fresh with such characters as John Doormat and Sidney the Elephant. When Deitch left, in 1958, only Mighty Mouse and Heckle & Jeckle were brought back — but with the already thin Terrytoons budgets slashed to the bone, they were mere shadows of their former selves.

CBS packaged the old Mighty Mouse cartoons, along with non-series Terrytoons, as a Saturday morning half-hour, under the name Mighty Mouse Playhouse. It ran as a network show from 1955-67. Afterward, they dropped the "Terrytoons Classics" segments, added two new ones, "Luno" (about a time-traveling horse) and "The Mighty Heroes" (a superhero parody even broader than Mighty Mouse), and syndicated it.

Mighty Mouse was back with new animation in 1979, when CBS commissioned Filmation (Fat Albert, He-Man) to produce a new Saturday morning series. But even in the darkest days of his theatrical release, the late '50s, Mighty Mouse had never been animated as cheaply as Filmation did him. The show sank after only 16 episodes.

But in the late '80s, Ralph Bakshi, a former Terrytoons director who had gone on to produce such well-received animated features as Fritz the Cat and Wizards, came out with yet another Saturday morning Mighty Mouse show. This one fleshed out his personality, gave him a secret identity and a supporting cast, and let imagination and good writing compensate for low TV budgets. It was this series that was adapted into the most recent Marvel Comics version.

The future? Who knows? The character has proven durable, and is fondly regarded by several generations of viewers. For years, rumors have flown of a live-action feature film. This seems unlikely, but with the success of The Flintstones. George of the Jungle, Professor Gadget, etc., anything can happen.

— DDM

"Here I come to save the day!" I miss you Andy Kaufman!

*** NOW *** The short, short version of “I Don’t Know What To Do With Myself”

Due to a lab accident, parents lose their baby. Chloe find the baby. The family dog finds and fetches the baby. Chloe loses the baby. Parents get the baby back. Clark gets a dog and a new respect for Chloe.